Chaos Ensues: Part I

Well it's been quite some time since I've posted anything. 2010 was a whirlwind year. It was filled with some of the highest highs and lowest lows. My son turned two in November and just before then, I realized I had resented him somewhat since he was born.

That's not something a mom likes to admit, especially to the entire world through a blog post. I got married at 22 and started a family at 24. I realized I went through a quarter-life crisis last year. There's so much pressure on people in our age group to be at a certain place in our lives at this age. I had to grow up so fast, and hold so much responsibility that I cracked under all the pressure. It damaged a few close friendships and countless other intangible consequences.

In times like this, I like to focus on what I gained and learned from my experiences. I learned more about life and myself in one summer, than I had in the last few years. I'll start from the beginning but this is going to take more than one post. I'll try to get the whole story up too...

It started about a year and a half ago. I suddenly had a renewed self-confidence that was bursting right out of me. At the time I had just graduated from college and landed my dream job.  I had a hard time in college. It was a lot of pressure to keep up with school, work, buying a house and being a wife - and that was before I was pregnant. I remember crying on my way home one day thinking, why can't I handle all of this? There are so many more people in this world who do it in worse circumstances than I am. Why can't I handle it as well as them? After graduation in June of 2009, I of course felt relieved. Relieved that I no longer had to be a wife, mother, full time student, and super star employee (among other things like sister, daughter, best friend, etc.). I could scratch one thing off the list of responsibilities.

My career was thriving. I was promoted to Senior Account Executive in late 2009. Though it seemed I had everything a girl could ask for, I had a feeling deep inside that I was missing something. An emptiness I couldn't understand.

Marie Claire on "Fat" People: Belligerent or Brilliant?

I just happened to stumble upon an interesting debate today while casually glancing through my Twitter feed. I happened to notice that Marie Claire was a trending topic. I thought to myself, "That's weird - do people even read that magazine anymore?" And more importantly, "What's going on there that's such big news?"

It appears a blogger at Marie Claire posted an article titled, "Should 'Fatties' Get a Room?" Sure, even at first glance of the headline this article is already pissing off readers. Well, I don't want to get into that. Agree or disagree, this could turn out to be one brilliant stunt. Sure, Marie Claire may still have subscribers, but are they as in as Elle, Glamour, or InStyle? I don't even know if I've noticed Marie Claire in the checkout aisle at the grocery store in recent months. This really got the internet marketer in me thinking...

One of the tweets that stands out in my mind in particular is one that read, "Who the heck was still reading Marie Claire anyway?" This is what makes this ploy (if it truly is one) brilliant. Think about it... the title itself is controversial in and of itself. Using the term "fatties" definitely catches attention. Then after you read on, and are inevitably infuriated over the blogger's insensitivity and judgment, you (well maybe not you specifically, but enough of "you" to start the buzz) tweet about it, protest on the mag's Facebook wall, and create a media frenzy over one poorly thought out article.

Can you remember the time you last saw even one of your favorite brand's as a top trending topic in the world on Twitter? Just in the time I've spent writing this post (about 20 minutes) the mag's Facebook page has gained 15 fans. Even if they only "liked" the page to be able to protest on the Wall - they're still "fans."  Imagine the gigantic spike in traffic their website is seeing today. Just think, if they're selling ads on their website based on impressions the page gets- Marie Claire may have hit the jackpot.  Sure the brand will have to bounce back and spin it "PR style" but I know one thing for sure... Marie Claire magazine isn't dead...

Again- NOT condoning the content or point of view of this article. I just want to wait and see how this faux pas can affect their overall brand and reputation. In the age of Twitter where news is instant, the brand really needs to step up to the plate and address the situation before it gets really out of hand and they can't recover from a reputation perspective.

I challenge you to think beyond the content of the now infamous blog post - What's your take on this? Not on the hatred and disgusting display of insensitivity, but if it truly is just a PR stunt - brilliant or belligerent?

It's Earth Day

I've been driving by the landfill near Interstate 480 for 25 years. I can remember watching the landfill grow and thinking about those odd pipes sprouting out from the ground to let the gasses seep from the ground. I took an elective course not too long ago as a "filler" in order to get my last three credits to complete my Bachelor's degree. Environmental Science... why the heck do I need to take that? I'm 25 years old, I know the 3 Rs: reduce, reuse, recycle.

This course was an eye-opener. There are so many other things to take into consideration other than recycling. Burning anything- even our summer bonfires- causes carbon dioxide gases to be released into the atmosphere. These gases are what we now refer to as Greenhouse gases. Nature, being the amazingly complex thing that it is, has a process that consumes the Greenhouse gases to keep things on Earth regulated. Unfortunately, Mother Nature just can't keep up with the amount of carbon dioxide us humans are emitting to keep things regulated. This is when the gases start acting as a big warm blanket and temperatures start to rise. Even though the temperature has only risen about .5 degrees over the past century, there are more carbon emissions in the atmosphere than ever, and the concentration is rising.

I thought I'd pass along some inspiring resources to help everyone see that going green can be simple. It's a lot of little things that make a big difference!

First, I've noticed a trend at the bridal and baby showers I've attended this year. Instead of those fancy gift bags that will just end up in the trash, give your gifts in reusable shopping bags. Use blankets or kitchen towels in place to tissue paper. And, when you are only picking up a few things- don't get your milk in a bag and throw the other things in your tote or larger handbag.

Here are some good Earth Day reads:
US Energy Info Administration
Top 10 Easy Ways to Go Green
Cleveland Inks Deal to Design Small Power Plant to Produce Energy from Waste

Bullying Has Consequences- Sometimes Tragic Ones

This is such a tragic story. One that I just don't understand from either perspective. Today, I came across an article about a young 15 year old girl who committed suicide as the result of constant and persistent bullying at school. Nine students involved in the bullying were indicted on several disturbing counts including assault with a dangerous weapon and statutory rape.

My heart aches so much for this little girl and her parents. As a mother myself, and as a former bullied student, I can say that communication is imperative. I don't know the situation surrounding her relationship with her parents or loved ones, but I just can't help but to think (or hope) that if she talked with someone, this may have ended differently. I'm sure we all know now that high school seems like the peek of your life, if this time in your life is miserable, what's the point. If you're a loser now, you'll always be a loser.

Teenagers don't realize it's the very opposite. High school doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you finished it. My senior year of high school, one of my classmates committed suicide. I didn't know him very well. I had one class with him sophomore year and thought he was nice, quiet. Rumor had it that he was bullied and sick of being picked on and made fun of. The thing is, I never even noticed anyone picking on him or taunting him so horribly that he'd end his own life. So all in all, I don't know if it was just a rumor, or a reality, but I do know that maybe I would have payed more attention if I knew things like this actually happen in high school.

So now I plead for you to give your child a hug and let them know that they are loved unconditionally. No matter what anyone says, thinks, or does, you will always love them and would do anything for them.

Birthdays

I've been thinking a lot lately. Reminiscing about my pregnancy, the birth of my first baby, and how fast the first year has gone. My son, my baby, my first born, will be turning one year old on Friday. I can't believe it. The time has gone so fast.

When he was first born, I'd hold him and sleep with him on my chest, and soak up each and every second. Always thinking about how these days would be gone before I knew it. And they were. In the blink of an eye, Josh was eating baby cereal, cutting a tooth, saying his first word and walking.

I took the day off from work on Friday so I can celebrate with my little man. I was always so excited when my mom got to stay with us on our birthdays. It just made the day so much more special. That statement made me think. She took the day off work so she could spend time with me. That means the day must have been special for her, too. Why wouldn't it? She carried me around for nine months, gave birth to me, raised me... Of course this day is special for her.

Our attitudes toward birthdays are so self-centered. "It's my day!" As a mother, I'm totally re-thinking that statement. My birthday is not all about me. Yes, I was born and the world changed forever... haha, but the most important factor was the fact that as the first born, my birth created a family. My parents' love for eachother, created a family. That's such an astounding thought that I could only understand after becoming a parent.

This year, more than ever, I want to spend my birthday with my parents. The ones who brought me into this world. The people who fed me when I was hungry and taught me the importance of the "Clean Plate Club." The people who grounded me because "it worked" and didn't ground my younger sister because she needed "different" discipline - grounding "didn't work." The people who put up with my shinanigans as a teenager (and as an adult).

Now that I'm a mom, there's nothing in the world more important than being with my baby on his birthday. I still remember my 16th birthday. The teenybopper boy band group LFO was popular (yes, gag me now) and my friend had gotten us tickets to a small concert on the night of my 16th birthday. I wanted to go SO bad! What better way to spend your Sweet Sixteen than with a girl friend and crooning prubescent boys? My mom was disappointed that I wouldn't be around, but she understood that I was a teenager and it was "all about me" that day. Looking back, no, I wouldn't change it, but I certainly do appreciate her more for being disappointed. If she didn't care at all, what would that have meant?

But don't get me wrong, I still deserve to be treated as a queen on my birthday. I'll just make sure to share some of the love with those two people who put me here and gave me a day all to myself!

Thought I'd throw this clip in here. I can totally relate to this commercial. I'm sure you've seen it before. It just reminds us how prescious these years are before they become their own people- with jobs and boyfriends and lives outside our happy little home.

Don't Take Rides From Strangers

Earlier this summer my husband and I took the little guy to the annual Corn Festival in his home town. (insert Yee-Haw here) The opening night finishes with a fireworks display. Everyone from the town comes to the park for this event - young and old. We parked the car abou 10 houses down from the "party house" which is at the corner of the street where the park is.

After the grand finale fireworks were finished, we waited a bit so the floods of people could get out. If we left in too much of a hurry we'd surely be sitting at the stoplight (or cop that was directing traffic) for a good twenty minutes. After the rush, we walked down to the car. There were only a handful of cars left. Everyone got into their cars and zoomed off. Since we had to pack everything up and get the baby all situated, we took a little longer than others. That was when I noticed a little boy wondering around. He looked like he was about ten years old and looked lost. He politely came up to my husband and asked if he could use his phone. Of course! We continued getting loaded up.

A few minutes passed and the little boy still hadn't gotten ahold of anyone. He seemed like he didn't know what to do. We finished getting situated, then asked the young man if he had a ride home. It was 11:30 at night. It was dark. There wasn't anyone around. He said yes, please and off we went.

What was this kid thinking?!!? Hadn't he learned not to take anything from strangers - rides included?? Luckily my husband and I aren't murders, rapists or child molesters. But what if we were? He didn't know where we could have taken him. First of all, why did this kid's friends leave him at the fair? Friendship 101- never leave a straggler! Buddy system people! I know it may have potentially been very creepy of me to ask this kid if he needed a ride, but I wanted to make sure no other creepjob picked him up. I wish I could have had a word with his mother.

If we didn't give him a ride, what would he have done? Didn't have a phone, his friends had left him... what are the options? Always have a plan! When I was growing up, we didn't have cell phones (wow, that's strange). My parents and I made up a code word and the only people allowed to drive us home had to know the code word. I still remember it to this day. It's the most ridiculous word and no one would ever guess it. I guess I would have walked home, but if it was too far, then I'd go back into the fair and look for an authority figure there. Given the fact that this fair has a beer tent, I'm sure there were plenty of cops willing to give this young man a ride home.

We dropped the boy not too far away from the fair. It was, however, quite a walking distance for a ten year old at 11:30 at night. He went to his friend's house. Will his mother ever know he took a ride from a stranger? Probably not. Hopefully he won't find himself in that type of situation again. Who knows, the next couple that offers him a ride might have a window-less astro van filled with "candy."

The Big Debate: Who's Responsible?

It was just a few short years ago when I would listen to a song and my mother would gasp in disgust of the song's lyrics. Jay-Z's Can I Get A... (you finish the rest), Juvenile's Back That Ass Up, and Britney Spears'  Slave 4 U  (with obvious sexuality spewed throughout the whole song with panting in the bridge to the chorus) were all perpetrators of contributing explicit ideas into my oh-so-innocent brain. My response to my mom was always quick "I listen to the beat and the music, lyrics come second." That's just me. I like energy and fun. Music is a release. My husband makes fun of me quite often because I just really don't like slow songs. They could have the most beautiful and meaningful words ever written but it's just not fun... I want music to start a part in my car but judging by the songs on my iPod, you'd think I was trying to start an orgy in my car.

Don't be fooled. It's true. I appreciate the musical value behind every raunchy note. My musical selection ranges from Jay Z to Beyonce and Incubus to System of a Down. Every musical genre has its own "not for my daughter" stake.

As a mother, I find myself paying attention more closely to the lyrics of songs and the violence on TV. There are many songs that when I hear them now, I think "how could I like such filth?" then go on jammin'. My mom was right to gasp in disgust when she turned on "the kids'" station in the car. Can't blame her.

Ultimately I think this debate settles on the side of the parents. You can't control what your kids listen to after they reach a certain age. Friends, pop culture and other influencers have more of an impact. What we can do as parents is to teach our children about why we dislike that particular song. I think this along with aligned your general values and morals should do the trick. Teach them to appreciate the music - not the lyrics. When you appreciate music, you have a greater understanding of so many more things than just "pimp cups" and "it's Britney, bitch."

But, hey, I my baby is only ten months old, we'll see if it's easier said than done in a few more years.