Ok ladies- if you're squeemish or don't like to talk about the "S" word then I warn you to turn away now. No, I won't get into gory details but if you don't like it don't say I didn't warn you!
Let's face it ladies, we can dream about how relationships are built on love and trust and all that mushy crap, but when you get right down to it, you need more than love to keep a relationship strong. Unfortunately, men need sex. Its like a natural instinct or something. They need to fulfill that macho animal in their DNA at least once a week or we women will never hear the end of it until we just give in! Maybe you're one of those rare couples who do it all the time. Maybe you do it less than once a week. Either way men are never satisfied. They always seem to need it more than they're getting it.
Lately we've been in the less than once a week category- actually longer than lately, more like for the passed couple years. My sex drive is nearly non-existent. I could go months without if I was able. I'm sure you all know how happy that makes the hubby! Its less than once a week only if I haven't had a drink in that long.
For whatever reason I turn into what I call a Six-Pack Super Model after a couple glasses of wine or a few beers. My husband started saying things that made me think like "you only want me when you're drinking." He started to actually think that I only found him attractive through my beer goggles. "That's insane," I'd tell him. He's a very attractive man. Very sweet and kind, too. So how could he even think that the reason I want him after a couple cocktails is because of a lack of physical attraction to him?
I call this inner-diva alter ego the Six-Pack Super Model because that's how I feel. You know that feeling of self-confidence you have when you've had a couple of really good martinis or a couple nice cold Miller Lites. That's what it is. You're the most beautiful girl in the room, strong, sexy, confident. You look in the mirror and see this more attractive version of yourself. Suddenly, the beer you drank helped you lose 20 pounds, made your hair look perfect, perked your sagging boobs up, and even made your outfit look better than it did when you left. THIS is, sadly, the real reason women feel the need to embrace their inner sex-goddess after a few drinks. Not because the men look better. No guys - its not all about you!
How can we help this Six-Pack Super Model appear without the six pack? The first thing I would suggest is focusing on you. Too often when we try to "spice" things up, especially in the bedroom, we immediately think of things that make us feel less comfortable than we did to begin with. Whipped cream, hand cuffs, and blindfolds are not my idea of spicing things up. After the physical realities of human gestation and child birth reared its ugly head in the form of stretchmarks and sagging, the last thing I want to do is be blindfold so I can't see you examining my deformed body (or at least that's why my subconscious thinks is happening). The first step in bringing out our inner super model is becoming more comfortable with our bodies. My husband is uber supportive and still to this day, after seeing my body transform from slim and young to carrying an eleven pound baby to what it is today, he still thinks I'm beautiful. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I need those little reminders of how attractive I am. Not sexy- you can call me sexy all you want. I don't want to be sexy, I want to be beautiful.
Are you a Six-Pack Super Model? Does you feel so self-conscious that you can't even be comfortable with your own husband or partner? I feel for you. You're not alone. My husband thinks it's not normal that I'm so embarrassed or shy of my own body, but he has no idea. I think I'm pretty normal.