What is the Ideal Age to Have a Baby?

An awesome survey was conducted by ForbesWoman and TheBump.com to find out what women feel is the ideal age for having children. At 24, I certainly was viewed as being "really young" when I gave birth to my first child. But was I? 59% of the survey respondents who had children after 35 wish they had been younger. 

My Rocks

There are certain people in your life who can, no matter what you're going through, make you feel like yourself again. Those people are my rocks. They hold me up when I feel like everything has been pulled out from under me. They make me laugh when I need it. They remind me of the person I am when I don't feel like myself. I'm so blessed to have such a great group of people to lean on.

We have a great time no matter where we are or what we're doing. I'm kind of the shy one. It may just take a couple beers or margaritas for me to let my guard down and just have fun. Not these girls. They don't care what anyone thinks. Yes, we are those girls who always look like they're having the time of their lives even though we're at the "hillbilly bar" down the street and there are only 8 other people there.

Every girl should have such a close-knit group of girlfriends. We have been friends for years. We were there for the first day of high school, through break ups, in eachothers' weddings, been there for the birth of our first children. I am even priveledged enough to be a Godmother to this beautiful little girl. They keep my grounded. Whenever we "call in reinforcements" someone always knows when to bring the wine and open their ears because someone needs a long bitch/vent session.

I have so much to say about them, that I can't even get it all out in clear well written thoughts. We have a long 12 year history that would just be too long to write out. So I'll just close here. I hope you all have friends that you can count on. Friends that whenever you call on them, they know when to tell you "you're being a bitch, get over it," or "what an A$$hole, it's not you."

From Left to Right:

Rachel - She's my Rach-face. She's a crazy funny girl who always makes me laugh. She has the biggest most compassionate heart.

Lauren - She's sarcastic, always late, and a good listener. We love blasting the Chicago soundtrack in the car and driving around until "Cellblock Tango" is over. Yes, we met in high school in chior. We are dorks and love it.

Mary - She's the "ring leader." Haha! She's always been known to put someone in their place. But always appropriately!

Then there's me. But you already know all about me :)

Six-Pack Super Model

Ok ladies- if you're squeemish or don't like to talk about the "S" word then I warn you to turn away now. No, I won't get into gory details but if you don't like it don't say I didn't warn you!

Let's face it ladies, we can dream about how relationships are built on love and trust and all that mushy crap, but when you get right down to it, you need more than love to keep a relationship strong. Unfortunately, men need sex. Its like a natural instinct or something. They need to fulfill that macho animal in their DNA at least once a week or we women will never hear the end of it until we just give in! Maybe you're one of those rare couples who do it all the time. Maybe you do it less than once a week. Either way men are never satisfied. They always seem to need it more than they're getting it.

Lately we've been in the less than once a week category- actually longer than lately, more like for the passed couple years. My sex drive is nearly non-existent. I could go months without if I was able. I'm sure you all know how happy that makes the hubby! Its less than once a week only if I haven't had a drink in that long.

For whatever reason I turn into what I call a Six-Pack Super Model after a couple glasses of wine or a few beers. My husband started saying things that made me think like "you only want me when you're drinking." He started to actually think that I only found him attractive through my beer goggles. "That's insane," I'd tell him. He's a very attractive man. Very sweet and kind, too. So how could he even think that the reason I want him after a couple cocktails is because of a lack of physical attraction to him?

I call this inner-diva alter ego the Six-Pack Super Model because that's how I feel. You know that feeling of self-confidence you have when you've had a couple of really good martinis or a couple nice cold Miller Lites. That's what it is. You're the most beautiful girl in the room, strong, sexy, confident. You look in the mirror and see this more attractive version of yourself. Suddenly, the beer you drank helped you lose 20 pounds, made your hair look perfect, perked your sagging boobs up, and even made your outfit look better than it did when you left. THIS is, sadly, the real reason women feel the need to embrace their inner sex-goddess after a few drinks. Not because the men look better. No guys - its not all about you!

How can we help this Six-Pack Super Model appear without the six pack? The first thing I would suggest is focusing on you. Too often when we try to "spice" things up, especially in the bedroom, we immediately think of things that make us feel less comfortable than we did to begin with. Whipped cream, hand cuffs, and blindfolds are not my idea of spicing things up. After the physical realities of human gestation and child birth reared its ugly head in the form of stretchmarks and sagging, the last thing I want to do is be blindfold so I can't see you examining my deformed body (or at least that's why my subconscious thinks is happening). The first step in bringing out our inner super model is becoming more comfortable with our bodies. My husband is uber supportive and still to this day, after seeing my body transform from slim and young to carrying an eleven pound baby to what it is today, he still thinks I'm beautiful. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I need those little reminders of how attractive I am. Not sexy- you can call me sexy all you want. I don't want to be sexy, I want to be beautiful.

Are you a Six-Pack Super Model? Does you feel so self-conscious that you can't even be comfortable with your own husband or partner? I feel for you. You're not alone. My husband thinks it's not normal that I'm so embarrassed or shy of my own body, but he has no idea. I think I'm pretty normal.

Wordless Wednesday: Going, Going, Gone

This is a marvelous drink called a Miami Vice - one of many while in Punta Cana...

Babysitter!?

Before I was a mom, I could make plans on a whim, come and go as I please... not so much anymore. There have been a time or two where we didn't have someone to watch our little guy. Those plans were given up without a second thought.

This time, we bought tickets to my team's Relay for Life fundraiser event. The other times, no money was spent and it wasn't an event I was involved in. The weeks fly by and it comes down to 5 days before the big event- NO BABYSITTER?! How could I have forgotten? What, did I think Josh would just sit in the car while we go party? I see Baby everyday and didn't even think about him when it came time for daddy and I to go out.

Is this normal? To just forget about your child? My guilt is just the precursor to my panic- NO BABYSITTER! We've bought the tickets, I have the dress, plans are made... What will I do with Baby? This is the first time we've ever had this problem. Both sets of parents have plans, sisters are busy, and ALL of our friends will be at the event.

Luckily, my husband's friend (who has told us in the past to get out and let him babysit) was available for Baby-duty. Thank GOD! I could use the excuse that we don't get out that often because we have a new baby- but no one would believe that for an instant. Baby spends the night at Grandma's at least twice a month.

This babysitter dilema leads me to examine my parenting a little further. My mother-in-law had just watched Baby this past weekend. I can't expect her to watch him again. My mom just had Baby overnight the weekend before that. Though they love his company and never oppose the idea of having their grandson all to themselves, are they just enabling me? I guess my husband and I go out quite often. Most people would snear and roll their eyes at a young mom who just wants to party. People probably think I should want to be home and miss my baby all the time.

I think not. Yeah, I know, I'm 25, I have a baby, I should be responsible... blah, blah, blah. You're right, but I also need to be 25! These days won't be here for long. Sure it's important to be at home with your baby and make sure you don't miss anything as they're going up... What will I miss in 6 hours that I haven't seen already?

Going into motherhood, I expected to feel very overwhelmed by the baby. His needs, his wants, his cries, his diapers, his stuff all over the house. Luckily, I married a man who takes care of most of that. He does a good job sharing the responsibilities with me. I'm a lucky girl. But, now that I am a mom, I don't feel the slightest bit overwhelmed by my baby - just everything else going on in my life. Sure there are days when I could stay late at work to finish something up. But I don't want to, I'd rather get home to spend time with Baby. There are other times when I could leave in the morning and not save a few minutes for play time, but I don't. It's amazing how your life changes so much in that instant when the baby is born, but in the same sense, the change is so natural, I hardly notice it.

I make time for things that I want (but mostly NEED) to do, but the time that I make with Josh isn't scheduled. I don't feel like I need to set aside 2 hours of play time a night, then 30 minutes for a bath, etc. If you knew me, you'd know I'm definitely not that organized! Much to my suprise, he's the one thing in my life that I don't worry about not getting enough of. Because I know I will.

So how could I forget about him? Is it because I'm relying too much on the grandma's to come to my rescue when I need (or want) a night out?

The picture that goes along with this post says 1000 words about what happened last time mommy went out... nuf said.