Monday, April 20, 2009
Before I was a mom, I could make plans on a whim, come and go as I please... not so much anymore. There have been a time or two where we didn't have someone to watch our little guy. Those plans were given up without a second thought.
This time, we bought tickets to my team's Relay for Life fundraiser event. The other times, no money was spent and it wasn't an event I was involved in. The weeks fly by and it comes down to 5 days before the big event- NO BABYSITTER?! How could I have forgotten? What, did I think Josh would just sit in the car while we go party? I see Baby everyday and didn't even think about him when it came time for daddy and I to go out.
Is this normal? To just forget about your child? My guilt is just the precursor to my panic- NO BABYSITTER! We've bought the tickets, I have the dress, plans are made... What will I do with Baby? This is the first time we've ever had this problem. Both sets of parents have plans, sisters are busy, and ALL of our friends will be at the event.
Luckily, my husband's friend (who has told us in the past to get out and let him babysit) was available for Baby-duty. Thank GOD! I could use the excuse that we don't get out that often because we have a new baby- but no one would believe that for an instant. Baby spends the night at Grandma's at least twice a month.
This babysitter dilema leads me to examine my parenting a little further. My mother-in-law had just watched Baby this past weekend. I can't expect her to watch him again. My mom just had Baby overnight the weekend before that. Though they love his company and never oppose the idea of having their grandson all to themselves, are they just enabling me? I guess my husband and I go out quite often. Most people would snear and roll their eyes at a young mom who just wants to party. People probably think I should want to be home and miss my baby all the time.
I think not. Yeah, I know, I'm 25, I have a baby, I should be responsible... blah, blah, blah. You're right, but I also need to be 25! These days won't be here for long. Sure it's important to be at home with your baby and make sure you don't miss anything as they're going up... What will I miss in 6 hours that I haven't seen already?
Going into motherhood, I expected to feel very overwhelmed by the baby. His needs, his wants, his cries, his diapers, his stuff all over the house. Luckily, I married a man who takes care of most of that. He does a good job sharing the responsibilities with me. I'm a lucky girl. But, now that I am a mom, I don't feel the slightest bit overwhelmed by my baby - just everything else going on in my life. Sure there are days when I could stay late at work to finish something up. But I don't want to, I'd rather get home to spend time with Baby. There are other times when I could leave in the morning and not save a few minutes for play time, but I don't. It's amazing how your life changes so much in that instant when the baby is born, but in the same sense, the change is so natural, I hardly notice it.
I make time for things that I want (but mostly NEED) to do, but the time that I make with Josh isn't scheduled. I don't feel like I need to set aside 2 hours of play time a night, then 30 minutes for a bath, etc. If you knew me, you'd know I'm definitely not that organized! Much to my suprise, he's the one thing in my life that I don't worry about not getting enough of. Because I know I will.
So how could I forget about him? Is it because I'm relying too much on the grandma's to come to my rescue when I need (or want) a night out?
The picture that goes along with this post says 1000 words about what happened last time mommy went out... nuf said.