Spread the Awareness: Kelly Ripa's Text-A-Thon for a Cause

September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month! Electrolux and Kelly Ripa are launching an exciting campaign that utilizes a form of communication that many of us use every day - texting! During September, Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month, Electrolux and Kelly are holding a "Text-a-Thon for a Cause" to help raise support for the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund whose mission is to fund research to find a method of early detection and ultimately a cure for ovarian cancer.

Throughout September, you can donate $5 to the cause by texting "KELLY" to 85944 from your mobile phones (standard text messaging rates apply) - or logging on to http://www.kelly-confidential.com/. Also during September, visitors to Kelly Confidential can help spread awareness for this important cause by sending a virtual T-shirt to a friend. For every virtual t-shirt sent, Electrolux will donate $1 to the OCRF. Fashion-forward Moms can also purchase a limited edition T-shirt designed by Ripa; 100% of the proceeds from the sale of the T-shirts will go to OCRF.

But here's the best part, every time you log on to the web site, you'll be entered for a chance to win an amazing luxury front load washer and dryer from Electrolux in Turquoise Sky, the color inspired by the teal ribbon of ovarian cancer awareness.

While you're at it, check out Kelly Ripa's PSA and help spread the awareness.

Turds

My sanctuary, the place where I clean and refresh, has literally become someone's toilet. We began bathtime with the usual. I started the water and let him splash around and play first. While the water was just starting to cover his legs, I noticed something had sprung a leak. So in order to avoid bathing my child in his own urine I drained the tub, sanitized and started the process all over again. While the tub was filling I was thinking about how easy bathtime is now. There will be a day when he fights with me or screams the whole way through or even poops in the tub.

He splashed around as usual then daddy came home and he showed him how he splashes. Next it was time to wash up. Head to toe. Stood him up and started washing his face. Moved down his arms, then belly. Just when I was scrubbing his little hands he paused and made a familiar grunt. Immediately I said "you better not be trying to poop!" As if he understood every word.

Plop.

Plop.

Ah! He pooped in the tub! The little turds floated in the water taunting me. My first thought was now my son is standing in toilet water. I flipped up the drain while my husband grabbed our showerhead (thank God it's removeable) to scrub him and spary him off. I got the lovely task of sanitizing. Yay.

Lessons learned:
1. Nothing is sacred after you have children.

2. There will always be someone to poop in your theoretical toilet.

Ouch! My Uterus!

I have the skin of a teenager. There are similarities between my face and an Exxon oil tanker right now. I have been tossing and turning for four days and frequenting the Godforsaken vending machine at work. I swear, everyone at work must know when I'm PMSing because I clean out the vending machine of everything chocolate and/or made with some form of cake and creme filled goodness.

Toxic ass is a symptom of PMS. Don't pretend like you don't know it. It's a fact of life. Even children read "Everybody Poops." That was also a silent-but-deadly side effect of pregnancy. Hey we're allowed to be honest with eachother here.

Total bitch tendencies are not because my hormones are flooding every which cell of my womanly figure. It's because my freaking uterus HURTS! Seriously, how nice would you be if it felt like someone was peeling your balls like a potatoe then jumping up and down on them with nails in their steel-toed boots?? Please, tell me!

Yes, sometimes I need to wear a diaper. That's just how it is. That's why the sell mutli-packs of tampons. You know for those "heavy flow" days and the "not so heavy" days. Please, Josh, don't mind if I steal one of your diapers because mommy has her period.

Then, today of all days, I look in my rearview mirror in the natural bright morning sun and see my mustache loud and proud. These little peach fuzz hairs sure are standing tall today. WTF? It's like one day I look like a shmale, then the next I can't even see them. Then to top it off, my sister convinced me to grow my eyebrows out so I can reshape them.

I'm just feeling uber hairy right now....  I bet I've painted a gorgeous picture of me in your head for you. I know, everything is magnified 100 times when you have PMS. I'm sure my upper lip isn't that hairy.

Please leave me so comment love before I go all premenstrual on someone's ass!