Thursday, April 30, 2009

Thoughts on Marriage

I don't know if my random thoughts this morning is due to my complete lack of sleep this week. Josh got up at 2 am then again at 5 and I've been up ever since. I got an email from a good friend of mine mentioning her mother in law.. but she's not really her mother in law because her and her boyfriend aren't married. So that made me think... How do you really define marriage?

When my husband and I were getting married we had weekly meetings with the minister at my church. On the first night he asked us for our addresses. I answered first then he looked at my then-fiance for his. He and I looked at eachother, then at the minister and said- "it's the same address....??" We said it with that higher pitch at the end of the sentence as if we were asking if we had answered correctly. I didn't want to lie, but I really didn't want to tell the truth either. But then I thought lying to a minister in a church wouldn't look good on my rap sheet on judgement day.

I'm about to get spiritual on you all so if you're not into that, don't say I didn't warn you.

Everyone views marriage in either one of two categories or in both. Marriage is a) a legal bond between two people and the state of Ohio (or where ever) or b) a spiritual bond between two people promised before God.

I challenge this question: What did they consider marriage before there were laws? Did they just get together with their preist and say "we're gettin' hitched?" I always used to think marriage was a sacred bond between two people and the Lord. Keeping God in our marriage has helped us stay afloat. As I'm growing up and able to form my own ideas (other than what my parents had burned into my brain) I'm seeing marriage in different forms.

During our pre-marital counseling my minister discussed his views of intimacy and "living in sin" after we reluctantly disclosed our living and intimacy arrangements. He said that it was Ok by him. WHAT? We had made a promise to eachother that we wouldn't stray from one another. I have to agree with that. Though it wasn't legally official until our wedding day, we had already made that promise toward one another and toward God so we were in a way already married.

So this brings me to the point of legality and marriage. What ever happened to common law? My friend has been living with her boyfriend for YEARS. Their kids have grown up together, their families are close, etc. So how shouldn't she have the same legal rights as a married person (and vise versa). Maybe a bad relationship spoiled the idea of marriage- should that ban her from the legal benefits just because she doesn't want to take the plunge again?

Thought to ponder on this Thursday... Thank God it's almost the weekend!


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