Thoughts on Marriage

I don't know if my random thoughts this morning is due to my complete lack of sleep this week. Josh got up at 2 am then again at 5 and I've been up ever since. I got an email from a good friend of mine mentioning her mother in law.. but she's not really her mother in law because her and her boyfriend aren't married. So that made me think... How do you really define marriage?

When my husband and I were getting married we had weekly meetings with the minister at my church. On the first night he asked us for our addresses. I answered first then he looked at my then-fiance for his. He and I looked at eachother, then at the minister and said- "it's the same address....??" We said it with that higher pitch at the end of the sentence as if we were asking if we had answered correctly. I didn't want to lie, but I really didn't want to tell the truth either. But then I thought lying to a minister in a church wouldn't look good on my rap sheet on judgement day.

I'm about to get spiritual on you all so if you're not into that, don't say I didn't warn you.

Everyone views marriage in either one of two categories or in both. Marriage is a) a legal bond between two people and the state of Ohio (or where ever) or b) a spiritual bond between two people promised before God.

I challenge this question: What did they consider marriage before there were laws? Did they just get together with their preist and say "we're gettin' hitched?" I always used to think marriage was a sacred bond between two people and the Lord. Keeping God in our marriage has helped us stay afloat. As I'm growing up and able to form my own ideas (other than what my parents had burned into my brain) I'm seeing marriage in different forms.

During our pre-marital counseling my minister discussed his views of intimacy and "living in sin" after we reluctantly disclosed our living and intimacy arrangements. He said that it was Ok by him. WHAT? We had made a promise to eachother that we wouldn't stray from one another. I have to agree with that. Though it wasn't legally official until our wedding day, we had already made that promise toward one another and toward God so we were in a way already married.

So this brings me to the point of legality and marriage. What ever happened to common law? My friend has been living with her boyfriend for YEARS. Their kids have grown up together, their families are close, etc. So how shouldn't she have the same legal rights as a married person (and vise versa). Maybe a bad relationship spoiled the idea of marriage- should that ban her from the legal benefits just because she doesn't want to take the plunge again?

Thought to ponder on this Thursday... Thank God it's almost the weekend!

"I Am Phoenix" Hear Me Roar

UoP Always Takes the Blame for Lazy Asses

Yeah, so maybe it's not a Harvard, an Ohio State or even a Tri-C, but it's a fully accredited university. I too was sceptical when I took the bold step of re-entering college. If it weren't for my former boss giving the University of Phoenix such an awesome boost, I would have never even considered it.

After two years at my former job I realized that I couldn't go anywhere without my degree. I couldn't get a new job because I hadn't completed my bachelors (and at the time wasn't planning to) and my job wouldn't move me up because of the fact that I didn't have a degree. Even though they knew I'd be the right person for the Account Management position, the door was slammed in my face.

I went to see an enrollment counselor and a month later I was starting my new class. I was probably the youngest person in the class. That's ok. For some reason I have always gotten along better with people older than me. In all of my classes the last 2 1/2 years I've learned so much about the management field (my major) and how you apply the information learned to life. One of the things I like the most is that every student works. You all learn from eachothers experiences and the facilitators ("teachers") teach you from their real-world experience. I know one thing for sure is that my working experience has helped me apply much of what I learned which is why I am where I am today.

If I hadn't taken that marketing class at the right time (while working at the nursing home) I don't know if I'd have the opportunity to be working for such a great company. I have the coolest job ever. I'm the only one there who hasn't completed their degree yet, and I from what I understand the only one there who hadn't had a previous marketing role. At the nursing home I was more like "helping out" with the marketing - even though I did the entire marketing plan and get almost no credit for it... anyways...

I'm SO sick of people like this complaining about how they didn't learn from their teachers and they didn't get a real education. Well, if you did the work you would learn something from it. UoP teaches you the most recent trends in some very diverse industries. I sometimes wonder how I'll keep up with the working world after I graduate (aside from being bored to death by the business section of the Plain Dealer).

This person is also complaining that she stayed up until 2 am just to get through... HELLO?!!? You ARE in college, right? Isn't that how it's supposed to be? Ok, maybe I've never stayed up until 2 am but that's just because my sleep is very important to me. But I have experienced the stress of college life. And after it's all said and done I never have to go back! I'll finally have my degree. That little piece of paper that's cost me $40,000. *BARF*

That's just a quick run down of what really grinds my gears this morning.

Whose Boobs Are These?

That's supposed to be one of the perks, right? If you didn't have much up top before, you were going to have big voluptuous boobs now! Yeah, well that all comes at a price.

Pregnancy does weird things to your body. I was not very well endowed before the pregnancy, but once those hormones got going I was a 42 D! HooWah!! Alright boobs! Finally!

Suddenly everything I wore made me look trampy. Just a common floozy showing off her goodies. If only that were the case. Pregnant boobs are different from normal boobs in many ways. That low-cut top that flowed gracefully over my belly also revealed the big blue veins and shiny skin that accompanied my gigantic knockers. It looked like I took a pair of opaque balloons, filled them up with water until they were about to burst and stuck them in my shirt. Oh yeah, then drew some big blue lines on them to direct traffic toward the nipple. And the nipple! OMG! If you are pregnant, have been pregnant or ever plan on being pregnant you have to read Jenny McCarthy's Belly Laughs! In one chapter she gabs about our girls and refers to her nipples as dinner plates. Seriously. They get THAT big! Freakishly large boobs (well I have seen bigger- but not on me!) and freakishly large nipples!

Sooner or later I knew they'd deflate and I'd be back to my normal size or maybe something a tad bigger.

Deflate is the keyword. It's like someone poked a hole right in my nipple and funneled all the boob stuff out. I never thought that my boobs would reach my waist at 25 - pretty sure I had at least 30 years before that happened... No one ever tells you how gross it is to feel the under side of your boob touch your belly. It's really nasty. I rarely go bra-less now. When I'm holding the baby or he's laying on my chest, it feels like he's pushing them down more. Can that happen? Can your boobs get so used to being pushed down like that and just decide to stay there?

Now 5 months later, I'm still waiting for my miracle bra. A mom's miracle bra would be something that repels water for those soak-through spitups, cups that don't just lift your boobs into a jiggly mess- but rather make them look full and youthful again, and finally some kind of fantastic thing that hid all of the boob stretch marks. Yeah, stretch marks on your BOOBS! As if floppy wasn't a good enough adjective to be describing my breasts...

Babysitter!?

Before I was a mom, I could make plans on a whim, come and go as I please... not so much anymore. There have been a time or two where we didn't have someone to watch our little guy. Those plans were given up without a second thought.

This time, we bought tickets to my team's Relay for Life fundraiser event. The other times, no money was spent and it wasn't an event I was involved in. The weeks fly by and it comes down to 5 days before the big event- NO BABYSITTER?! How could I have forgotten? What, did I think Josh would just sit in the car while we go party? I see Baby everyday and didn't even think about him when it came time for daddy and I to go out.

Is this normal? To just forget about your child? My guilt is just the precursor to my panic- NO BABYSITTER! We've bought the tickets, I have the dress, plans are made... What will I do with Baby? This is the first time we've ever had this problem. Both sets of parents have plans, sisters are busy, and ALL of our friends will be at the event.

Luckily, my husband's friend (who has told us in the past to get out and let him babysit) was available for Baby-duty. Thank GOD! I could use the excuse that we don't get out that often because we have a new baby- but no one would believe that for an instant. Baby spends the night at Grandma's at least twice a month.

This babysitter dilema leads me to examine my parenting a little further. My mother-in-law had just watched Baby this past weekend. I can't expect her to watch him again. My mom just had Baby overnight the weekend before that. Though they love his company and never oppose the idea of having their grandson all to themselves, are they just enabling me? I guess my husband and I go out quite often. Most people would snear and roll their eyes at a young mom who just wants to party. People probably think I should want to be home and miss my baby all the time.

I think not. Yeah, I know, I'm 25, I have a baby, I should be responsible... blah, blah, blah. You're right, but I also need to be 25! These days won't be here for long. Sure it's important to be at home with your baby and make sure you don't miss anything as they're going up... What will I miss in 6 hours that I haven't seen already?

Going into motherhood, I expected to feel very overwhelmed by the baby. His needs, his wants, his cries, his diapers, his stuff all over the house. Luckily, I married a man who takes care of most of that. He does a good job sharing the responsibilities with me. I'm a lucky girl. But, now that I am a mom, I don't feel the slightest bit overwhelmed by my baby - just everything else going on in my life. Sure there are days when I could stay late at work to finish something up. But I don't want to, I'd rather get home to spend time with Baby. There are other times when I could leave in the morning and not save a few minutes for play time, but I don't. It's amazing how your life changes so much in that instant when the baby is born, but in the same sense, the change is so natural, I hardly notice it.

I make time for things that I want (but mostly NEED) to do, but the time that I make with Josh isn't scheduled. I don't feel like I need to set aside 2 hours of play time a night, then 30 minutes for a bath, etc. If you knew me, you'd know I'm definitely not that organized! Much to my suprise, he's the one thing in my life that I don't worry about not getting enough of. Because I know I will.

So how could I forget about him? Is it because I'm relying too much on the grandma's to come to my rescue when I need (or want) a night out?

The picture that goes along with this post says 1000 words about what happened last time mommy went out... nuf said.

What is Mad Mom on a Mission??

I'm that girl that thinks she can do it all. In the thick of finishing up my Bachelor's degree, I decided it would be a good time to buy a house with my new husband. Then a few months later- oops! Time for baby #1. Well, I don't mean Oops. Baby was what I call a "planned surprise." There was about a week when we thought - "Hey it'd be nice to have a baby." Well apparently that's all it takes!

My Baby is a remarkable little man. He was 11 pounds at birth so he has a bit of an advantage to other babies his age. His smile lights up my life and I can't wait to see what kind of crazy experiences he brings me and my husband.

So, after the baby was born, I went back and am finishing up my bachelor's degree. I'm what people refer to as a "non-traditional student." Sitting in lecture halls and being with peers of my own age in college just wasn't my thing. After the strong recommendation from my former boss, I took the reluctant plunge to enroll at The University of Phoenix. That statement is usually followed by "oh... online college...?" Not exactly. UoP actually has campuses! But you would never know it because all they advertise (and they advertise a LOT) is for online classes. Much to my surprise I actually love it. I'd like to call out all the nay-sayers right now and tell them - don't knock it till you try it. Sure it's not for everyone, but for people like me who procrastinate on assignments and a myriad of other excuses of why I hate school, it's the perfect solution. One night a week...

"So," you ask, "what's with the title 'Mad Mom on a Mission?" Well, I lead a pretty hectic (or mad) life. I make it my mission to better myself for my family everyday. This blog will document my trials and tribulations of being a young twenty-something trying to fit in both worlds - the other twenty-somethings and reality/parenthood.