Thursday, July 23, 2009

Drained...

Drained... of everything... When you're a mom, actually even when you're not a mom, you're drained. Life goes so fast, we get through one day, just to get through another. When do we take a time out and stop. You work for money, you make money to live, you live to... what do you live for? Your children? You need to work for money to live for your children. The circle continues.

The expenses of motherhood are quickly catching up with me. Going through way more formula, the 75 cent step 3 foods twice a day. Cheerios. Damn expensive Gerber Graduates (seriously, they're like $4 for a couple handfuls of stuff). Box of diapers twice a week. Babysitter. Clothes. The list just keeps going. We live comfortably, but there's always room for more income, especially when you have a family. Luckily I have a great job where I have the opportunity to earn bonus pay- so the more work I do, the more I make. Great. I'm a work-a-holic.

Work from home, work on weekends here and there, work early. Never stay late! Thanks to childcare I need to get out at a reasonable time to get the bambino. But still, I've been working very hard lately. I have a descent salary. But I still can't wait for that bonus. All the extra resources, such as time and energy are put toward earning that extra income. That leaves little time and energy to spend that extra income. You'd think. Amazing how fast it goes.

I'm trying to get a little nest egg built up because I will soon have to pay off my Godforsaken student loans. This little nest egg is a nice little cushion to pad me from financial dispair when I'm paying back the sickening amounts of money to the federal government financial aid people. Bastards. It's great that everyone has the opportunity to go to college with federal money, but they seriously expect someone just out of college, who has a family and a mortgage in this economy to pay $400 a month in student loans? I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I worked so hard for my education, and now I'm going to be working hard to pay off that education. Nevermind that I have a child to feed. Nevermind that maybe I'd like to spend some of my hard earned money on something I might like for myself.

Drained... financially, physically, emotionally, and now socially.

I've been feeling awefully detached from reality lately. That's a whole other blog post... I feel like I'm closed into this tiny little Mad Mom world or work and home, work and home. Don't get to be with my girlfriends much- I always have something to do... I enjoy myself when I get out and enjoy the people that I'm with but it's hard to find time for even my best friends and my family.

Eh, I don't know... thanks for listening to me vent. Your comments always cheer me up....

5 comments:

DalkullanJewelry said...

I know your pain. I graduated from college with a huge student loan debt, and it took long, hard years to pay off. I'm on the other side of debt mountain now, and eventually you will be too. Keep your chin up, things will get better.

Christine said...

I hope it helps you to know that others feel the same as you do. The hamster wheel of life seems very exausting at times. This too shall pass...but then again it will be something else!

LZ @ My Messy Paradise said...

I am so with you here...
I'm starting to find myself wishing for bedtime, and I feel bad about it! money, stress, fatigue, being busy...it is sometimes too, too much!
Hang in there! You can always vent to us!

jeanine p said...

hey good luck !

Please share the comment love :)

http://icoulduseadeal.blogspot.com/2009/07/top-10-reasons-i-am-excited-to-stay.html

thx Jeanine

Marina said...

All the best with the giveaway....really hope by some miracle we all win!!

PS Do come over and leave a comment on mine :>
http://energizerbunnysmommyreports.blogspot.com/2009/07/top-10-reasons-i-am-excited-to-stay.html

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